Description
Parent workbook that provides vital information and gives real-life examples and worksheets so parents can practice new skills at home.
Psychotherapists, co-parent counselors, divorce coaches, child specialists, family attorneys and parenting coordinators use this guide as an educational adjunct to their services for separating and divorcing families.
61 pages
Crossroads of Parenting and Divorce
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
What is Divorce Abuse?
5 Steps to Prevention
Step One:
Keep Your Child out of the Middle
How Conflict Hurts Your Child
Danger Zones: Ways a Child Gets Caught in the Middle
Open Conflict
Negative Talk
Family Members “Support”
The Silent Treatment
Using Your Child as a Messenger
Putting Your Child in a Loyalty Bind
Burdening Your Child
Interrogating Your Child
Step Two:
Allow Your Child to Love Both Parents
Value Both Parents
Positive Qualities Activity
Two Teachers are Better Than One
The Greatest Danger
Avoid Negative Assumptions and Actions
Respect Your Child’s Need for the Other Parent
Show Acceptance of the Other Parent
Show Acceptance of Two Homes
Ease the Transition Process
Minimize Change Whenever Possible
Step Three:
Work on Your Own Recovery
Giving Yourself Permission to Grieve
The Stages of Grief
Letting Go of the Pain
Recognizing Positive Memories
Disengaging from Your Former Partner
Focusing on Getting Even
Focusing on Winning
Focusing on Control
Playing the Victim
Managing Your Anger
Choose Responsibility over Anger
Anger Dos and Don’ts
Step Four:
Develop New Communication Skills
Create New Expectations around Communication
Agree on a Method of Communication
Decide on the Frequency of Communication
Select the Topics
Learn New Communication Techniques
Use a Respectful Tone of Voice
Use Respectful Body Language
Select Your Words with Care
Avoid “You” Statements
3 Reactions: Defend, Counterattack, Withdraw
Practice “I” Statements
Use Reflective Listening
Reflective Listening Practice
Learn to Negotiate Differences
The 7 Steps of Negotiation
Step Five:
Create a New Relationship as Co-Parents
Task 1: Realign as Co-Parents
Realignment Contract
Task 2: Minimize Negative Influences
Task 3: Use a Business Relationship as a Model
Dedication to a Common Goal
Commitment to a Win-Win Relationship
Differences are Negotiated
Common Courtesies are Observed
Communication with Facts not Feelings
The Relationship is Limited in Scope
Task 4: Clarify Boundaries
Clarifying Boundaries Activity
Task 5: Dedication to the Future
Encourage Shared Activities
Embrace your Child’s Extended Family
Prepare for Future Change
Navigate Developmental Changes
Give the Gift of a String Co-Parent Relationship
In closing
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