CROSSROADS of Parenting and Divorce: 5 Steps to Preventing Divorce Abuse Parent Guide

Description

Parent workbook that provides vital information and gives real-life examples and worksheets so parents can practice new skills at home.

Psychotherapists, co-parent counselors, divorce coaches, child specialists, family attorneys and parenting coordinators use this guide as an educational adjunct to their services for separating and divorcing families.

61 pages

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Crossroads of Parenting and Divorce

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction                                                                                                

• What is Divorce Abuse?
• 5 Steps to Prevention

Step One:

• Keep Your Child out of the Middle
• How Conflict Hurts Your Child
• Danger Zones: Ways a Child Gets Caught in the Middle
• Open Conflict
• Negative Talk
• Family Members “Support”
• The Silent Treatment
• Using Your Child as a Messenger
• Putting Your Child in a Loyalty Bind
• Burdening Your Child
• Interrogating Your Child

Step Two:

• Allow Your Child to Love Both Parents
• Value Both Parents
• Positive Qualities Activity
• Two Teachers are Better Than One
• The Greatest Danger
• Avoid Negative Assumptions and Actions
• Respect Your Child’s Need for the Other Parent
• Show Acceptance of the Other Parent
• Show Acceptance of Two Homes
• Ease the Transition Process
• Minimize Change Whenever Possible

Step Three:

• Work on Your Own Recovery
• Giving Yourself Permission to Grieve
• The Stages of Grief
• Letting Go of the Pain
• Recognizing Positive Memories
• Disengaging from Your Former Partner
• Focusing on Getting Even
• Focusing on Winning
• Focusing on Control
• Playing the Victim
• Managing Your Anger
• Choose Responsibility over Anger
• Anger Dos and Don’ts

Step Four:

• Develop New Communication Skills
• Create New Expectations around Communication
• Agree on a Method of Communication
• Decide on the Frequency of Communication
• Select the Topics
• Learn New Communication Techniques
• Use a Respectful Tone of Voice
• Use Respectful Body Language
• Select Your Words with Care
• Avoid “You” Statements
• 3 Reactions: Defend, Counterattack, Withdraw
• Practice “I” Statements
• Use Reflective Listening
• Reflective Listening Practice
• Learn to Negotiate Differences
• The 7 Steps of Negotiation

Step Five:

• Create a New Relationship as Co-Parents
• Task 1: Realign as Co-Parents
• Realignment Contract
• Task 2: Minimize Negative Influences
• Task 3: Use a Business Relationship as a Model
• Dedication to a Common Goal
• Commitment to a Win-Win Relationship
• Differences are Negotiated
• Common Courtesies are Observed
• Communication with Facts not Feelings
• The Relationship is Limited in Scope
• Task 4: Clarify Boundaries
• Clarifying Boundaries Activity
• Task 5: Dedication to the Future
• Encourage Shared Activities
• Embrace your Child’s Extended Family
• Prepare for Future Change
• Navigate Developmental Changes
• Give the Gift of a String Co-Parent Relationship
• In closing